You are the problem, but you are also the solution!
Are you a shy person?
Do you feel unsatisfied with your self-confidence because you think it’s low?
Is something inside of you, saying, “Hey, it’s all good and great what you have, but you’re not done yet!”
You might want to listen to that voice. It might be your purpose calling you.
In 2019, that voice spoke to me. I was comfortable with the life that I was living, but I wanted more.
I wanted to explore my creativity; I wanted to get to know “ME” better!
But there was a problem....
I didn’t know how or where to start.
I was shy and had very little self-confidence, which made me a horrible communicator.
I struggled for a while until I came across an ad on social media that was promoting a networking event.
I had my mind made up already in “I want to change my life around”
So, I decided to sign up for my first networking event in my life.
Challenges I face that day!
First Challenge...
The event was being hosted in the conference room of a hotel.
When I arrived at the event, I was so nervous to walk inside the building. Many people were showing up accompanied by someone.
I was alone, which made things worse for me.
I sat inside my truck for about 5 minutes contemplating whether I should go inside or go home.
My desire to change helped me. So, I armed myself with courage and decided to walk inside the building.
Second Challenge...
As I was walking inside, I started sweating and feeling out of place, like I didn’t belong there. I got so nervous that I had to go to the restroom and catch myself because I couldn’t walk inside the conference room.
My inner negative voice was telling me, “Just go home.”
Again, I armed myself with courage and I walked into the conference room.
Third Challenge...
When I walked into the conference room, the first thing I did was to scan the room for an empty spot, away from everyone.
I didn’t want to get trapped in a conversation with a stranger because I was shy and had horrible communication skills.
I thought I was safe until...
Fourth Challenge…
I was able to find a seat away from everyone, and I was calm and excited to be there.
My calmness lasted 15 or 20 minutes because a guy who loved to talk sat next to me.
Have you ever parked your vehicle away from all the cars because you don’t want someone to hit your vehicle when they open their door?
What about parking away from the crowd because you don’t want to struggle getting out of the parking lot when you leave?
Sounds like a good plan until someone decides to park next to you and you’re like, “Why, why next to me when you have all these empty spots, why here?
Have you ever had this happen to you?
Well, that day I was in that same situation, but with people sitting next to me.
It wasn’t a good feeling!
Fifth Challenge...
I broke through the barrier!
When this guy started talking to me, I thought about getting up and leaving the room, but one more time, I armed myself with courage and started a conversation with him.
It was a tough moment, way out of my comfort zone, plus I didn’t have the tools and knowledge that I have now to keep a conversation going; if I did, it would have been a lot easier.
Let me give you a formula to keep a conversation going...
Here’s what I call “The relationship circle formula”
The #1 thing and most important thing is to...
Be an ACTIVE LISENER!
The key to a great conversation is to be interested in the other person and NOT try to be interesting to the other person.
The second thing is to ask QUESTIONS!
You can ask about:
1. Name—Ask about their name. A person's name is precious and personal. Make sure to pronounce their name right. You can ask what their name means or where it comes from.
2. Home – Ask about the area where they live, their side of town, their city, their state, their country.
3. Family – Ask about their kids, parents, brothers, sisters, friends, and even their pets.
4. Work – Ask about their job or business. How long have they had their job or business? Do they like it or not? Is today’s economy helping or affecting them?
5. Travel – Ask about their travel experiences. Ask what was awesome about it. What place(s) would they recommend for you and your family?
6. Vacation – Ask about their previous vacations or their next vacation.
7. Hobby – Ask about their hobbies. Why that specific hobby?
8. Ideas – Ask about their ideas. They might have an idea that they want to share with you.
9. Perspective – Ask about their perspective on a situation or event that’s happening right now. Be cautious with this one. Make sure they don’t feel offended.
Ask questions, but don’t get too personal, and don’t make it sound like an interrogation.
This formula will help you become a better communicator, and you will be able to connect better with the person you are talking to.
Lesson learned...
That day, I learned that most of the time, we are our own BIG CHALLENGE. And the way to conquer that difficult challenge is to show up and go through the challenge.
Keep going.
You are the problem, but you are also the solution.
The harsh reality is that no one is coming to save you. If you want something greater than what you have, it’s in your power to go and get it.
So, if you want to become a better communicator and create some great relationships, I challenge you to put into practice “The relationship circle formula” for 91 days straight. Consistency makes you great!
Hope this helps!
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